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The Wahala of Dating Outside Your Social Class

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Dating Issues: Dating Outside Your Social Class
We grew up watching classics like Cinderella, Coming to America, Pretty Woman, Nollywood’s Violated and a couple of other movies where love conquered the social class divide.

Fast forward to 2017, the Internet rules; anyone can meet anyone, and nobody kicks up a fuss about cross-class relationships or marriages anymore. It is not considered overtly scandalous. We no longer factor it in when considering the root of our relationship problems, and we look to psychology or gender norms instead when trying to figure out why our partner is being an ass. We pretend that we live in a classless society where background does not matter as much as present compatibility. Things are changing and people’s classes are no longer inscribed in stone.

Believe it or not though, social class or shall we say socio-economic differences, still pose a very difficult challenge in relationships today. Anyone who has dated someone outside their social class can affirm that there are strange tensions and inevitable speed bumps that come with these kinds of relationships. It can be fraught with complications.

For instance, your boyfriend could be from a high-class, wealthy family while you come from a working-class family with less money. He travels a lot and has been to all these places around the world just for fun, while you have never crossed the borders of Nigeria. You start to think you cannot keep up with him because you have to be extremely careful with money. Also, you know that the only way both of you could travel together on a regular basis is if he pays for you, and that just seems wrong.

Likewise, it could be the other way round and you are the girl from an upper-middle-class family, while your man has a working class background. Of course, financial equality does not mean cultural equality, so you wonder why he attaches too much importance to simple things like good food or designer labels. He, on the other hand, gets exasperated by your easy-come-easy-go spending attitude.

A couple of days ago, while having drinks with some friends at Intercontinental hotel (which turned out to be a horrible experience, as the place is nothing like a 5 star hotel…or even a 4 star -the food is substandard and the roof of the bar leaks), a friend mentioned her recent experience on a date. She had gone out with a guy who, although was wealthy, obviously had a working-class background. Being a girl brought up in an upper-middle-class home, the first thing she noticed was the huge gap in their personalities. According to her, his mentality was very different from hers. While he had asked her to pick any venue -a way to let her know he could afford her tastes, he had hinted on the food being overpriced (although, he could clearly afford it) and exhibited terrible table manners. Also, he had felt the need to talk about his achievements and how he had risen above all …as though she made him feel insecure, and he needed a form of validation from her. Again, there was the fact that his diction was flawed, and their experiences growing up were very different.

Of course, her intention was not to ridicule the guy. She had shared her experience to find out if her declining a second date with the guy and refusing to speak to him again afterward portrayed her as being a snob. Another friend who was out with us, *Bisi, jumped in and assured her that she made the right call nipping it all in the bud – she was better off with someone in her class.

Bisi spoke from experience, seeing as she had married into a super wealthy home despite being from a lower middle-class home. Prior to her marriage there had been endless disputes over her husband marrying down, and her family’s wealth being all too recently acquired. According to her, while cross-class pairings or relationships seemed egalitarian, it was complicated and required a lot of work. Bisi stated that stereotypical class prejudices are real – in any cross-social class relationship, both parties would have differing views, beliefs, attitudes, and practices on things such as child-rearing, money management, career advancement, how to spend leisure time e.t.c. This would go on to stir feelings of insecurity, resentment, usually in the partner on the “lower” side of this difference. And as a result, there will be a lot of negative pressure, tension, conflict as well as a sort of imbalance in the relationship, making it difficult for the couple to last long or even survive.

Bisi went on to share some of her experiences in marriage which all seemed a little incredible, and in between laughs, it dawned on me that I’d never dated anyone outside of my socioeconomic strata, which I’d describe as middle class. I have never been with any one of the glitterati nor have I been with a blue collar. Obviously, I have nothing against it, but it certainly would be quite a chore building a relationship with someone from a dramatically different social background, wouldn’t it? Sure, all relationships take work, but with a combination maturity and a willingness to healthily compromise, you can overcome any relationship problem. However, it is better to opt for one which isn’t already threatened by the boundaries of class at the initial point…don’t you think?

Have you ever dated someone with a richer or poorer background than yours? What were the issues? How did it work out?

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Exploring Nigeria’s Burgeoning Tech Scene

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Exploring Nigeria’s Burgeoning Tech Scene

Ever since it was founded in 2010, the Co-Creation hub in the Yaba district of Lagos has been spearheading Nigeria’s ambitions to become Africa’s technology hotspot.

With international venture capitalists and homegrown entrepreneurs making Yaba their home, it’s joined other successful African tech hubs like Silicon Savannah in Kenya and South Africa’s Silicon Cape in modernising the continent’s economic infrastructure.

A big part of why this area of the city has grown to be attractive to investors is the fact that it’s handily located near the University of Lagos and the Yaba College of Technology who supply the vibrant start-up scene with a fresh pool of young and enthusiastic talent.

As a result, some of Africa’s most profitable new tech companies have made Yaba their home. A case in point is Konga who’ve become one of the continent’s leading online retailers as a result of switching their operations to this unassuming inner-city location.


Rather than suffering the high rent of Lagos’ more upmarket locations like Lekki and Ikoyi, the hub offers low operating costs that have attracted promising start-ups such as Hellofood and Easy Taxi to supercharge the developing Nigerian tech scene.

With the amount of mobile subscribers in Nigeria now reaching 150 million users, the country offers a phenomenally attractive prospect for foreign investors. Whilst overseas brands such as Sweden’s Millicom have already moved into Lagos, there’s still opportunity for other brands to stake their claim to this promising market.

Although the mobile market in places like the US and UK has already reached near saturation point with social media channels like Instagram and Snapchat offering pocket-sized communication and even gaming brands like LadyLucks providing on-the-go casino games, the Nigerian tech sector is just coming into fruition.

As a result we’ve seen several new Nigerian tech companies making the extra effort to stake their claim to this new market. Hotel booking companies like Hotels.ng have sprung up to cater to Nigeria’s burgeoning tourism and business sectors, and whilst the country still suffers from relatively low internet speeds and mobile coverage, it’s clear that this is a very promising area for business.

And with firms like AfriOne developing the first Nigerian-made smartphones, it’s only a matter of time before the nation has its own version of brands like LadyLucks to ensure that there’s no part of life that can’t be enhanced by Nigeria’s growing tech scene.

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Lanre Gentry, Mercy Aigbe’s Hubby, Gets New Lover

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Lanre Gentry, Mercy Aigbe’s hubby, gets new lover
Lanre Gentry and Temi
Lanre Gentry, the estranged husband of Nollywood actress Mercy Aigbe is moving on with his life, and reconciliation with Mercy Aigbe, may have been foreclosed.

In his Instagram private account on Saturday, Gentry who was docked at a magistrate court in Ikeja Lagos for wife battery recently, posted the photograph of himself and another beautiful lady.

His simple caption for the Black and White photo speaks volume: ‘Temi My Love”. He left the rest for the imagination.

Lanre Gentry, with Mercy Aigbe
Lanre Gentry, with Mercy Aigbe
The post has been generating comments, especially on a parody Instagram account #lanregentry:

ebbiekikzarrrh, wait ooo, now now he aidy has a new love? is he not planning to work things out with mercy Aigbe?

goldenperpyIssa ok

tolyet4Chai..wonders shall never end

puriluvlasexyCongratulations sir,continue

usmanashafe@ebbiekikz so if a woman send ur brother go kirikiri for 7 days, u go advice ur brother to work things out with her abi?

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Jowhor Ile Wins Etisalat Literature Prize

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Jowhor Ile wins Etisalat Literature Prize
Jowhor Ile, winner of the 2016 Etisalat Literature Prize
Nigerian writer, Jowhor Ile has been announced the winner of the 2016 Etisalat Literature Prize at the Grand Finale in Lagos, which took place almost two months behind schedule.

His book, And after Many Days was the pick of the panel of judges, over Jacqui L’Ange (South Africa) The Seed Thief and and another Nigerian Juliet Iromuanya’s Mr and Mrs Doctor.

Jowhor Ile’s book was published in Nigeria by Kachifo Limited.

According to the Chair of Judges, Helon Habila, Nigerian novelist and poet, the three writers were selected from a long list after fulfilling some criteria.

These Habila said were ” in addition to originality of voice and literary excellence, our purpose was to also select a work that portrays an African sensibility”.

Soni Irabor congratulates Jowhor Ile
Soni Irabor congratulates Jowhor Ile
Other judges were South African writer/activist, Elinor Sisulu; and Ivorian writer and Africa39 laureate, Edwige Renée Dro.

As the winner, Jowhor Ile will receive £15,000, an engraved Montblanc Meisterstück pen, an Etisalat sponsored book tour to three African countries.

He will also have an Etisalat-sponsored fellowship at the University of East Anglia, mentored by Professor Giles Foden, author of The Last King of Scotland.

The other runners-up will also enjoy a sponsored multi-city book tour while Etisalat will also purchase 1,000 copies of their books for distribution to schools, libraries and book clubs across Africa with the objective of promoting the reading culture and the publishing industry at large.

The past winners of the Etisalat Prize for Literature include Fiston Mwanza Mujila from The Democratic Republic of Congo (Tram 83; 2015); South African novelist Songeziwe Mahlangu (Penumbra, 2014) and Zimbabwean writer NoViolet Bulawayo (We Need New Names, 2013).

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Huggings, Tears of Joy as Chibok Girls Reunite With Parents

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Huggings, tears of joy as Chibok girls reunite with parents
Chibok girl: A father in a bear hug with daughter
Emotional scenes, tears, huggings, Saturday dominated the reunion of the recently released 82 kidnapped Chibok girls with their parents.

At the reunion held in Abuja, fathers gripped their daughters in tight embrace, while mothers shrieked with joy, wiping away tears streaming from their eyes. In one scene, captured by the cameras, both the parents, along with one of the girls, burst out in tears of joy.

One beaming father picked his daughter up and swung her around in the air.

One of rescued Chibok School Girls with her Mother
One of rescued Chibok School Girls with her Mother
They hadn’t seen each other since 14 April 2014, when Boko Haram militants snatched 270 schoolgirls from their dormitories in northeast Nigeria.

“I’m feeling very happy, I was dancing with her, she’s very happy,” said Yakubu Nkeki, whose niece Maimuna — who he had raised as his own child — was among the 82 released.

“Everyone was dancing today, even the old ones, everyone was dancing,” Nkeki told AFP.

“All of us had lost hope, we thought the girls would not be returned.”

Nkeki, who represents the Chibok parents, said that they would attend a church service with the girls on Sunday, before returning home early next week.

Chibok girls at the reunion in Abuja
Chibok girls at the reunion. All Photos by Sunday Aghaeze
In the meantime the girls would stay in a government facility in Abuja where they are receiving therapy and vocational training.

Nigeria’s minister for women affairs, Aisha Alhassan has said that the government’s goal is to have all the rescued Chibok girls back in school by September.

The group of 82 girls was released in May in exchange for five Boko Haram commanders following months of negotiations brokered by the Swiss government and the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC).

Twenty-one of their classmates were freed in October last year, while three others had previously been found or escaped.

The Federal government has said it is still in talks to release the remaining 113 girls in captivity.

In a statement the Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed,said the group of 82 girls had also been reunited with 24 others, who were rescued by the Federal Government last year.

Minister of Women’s affairs, Aisha Alhassan said “the children are being rehabilitated and we believe that in due course they will be properly aligned with their families.

“Intensive medical attention is being administered and as soon as they are done, they will be enrolled into a remedial programme’’.

Alhasan also disclosed that the 24 others who were rescued last year were undergoing psycho-social counselling and remedial programmes preparatory to their enrolment in school next academic session.

“For the 21 and three that were earlier released, I wish to inform us that their psycho-social counselling is still in progress and of course they have started remedial classes.

“They are being taught five subjects, which is designed with a view to getting them back to school come the next school session, which is in September this year.

“They will be settled in various schools and I am sure they will continue their education from there,’’ she said.

The Minister gave assurance of the Federal Government’s commitment to rescue the remaining girls in captivity. She also expressed appreciation to all those involved in the rescue mission.

The Chairman of the parents of the abducted school girls, Yakubu Nkeki said their joy had no bounds and thanked President Muhammadu Buhari for wiping away their tears.

So far, 106 Chibok school girls, out of the 219 captured on the night of April 14, 2014, have been rescued.

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