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Relationship Matters


What Will You Do If Your Spouse Is Addicted To Sex?

Psychologists and marriage counsellors often claim that lack of good sex moments could lead to divorce. They also note that if there is no sexual intimacy in marriage, it could make the ‘wanting partner’ cheat on the other. But what if a spouse now keeps demanding for sex often? Some Nigerians spoke with Saturday Punch on the issue.

She has to think of something else - Teju Akinrinola

Since it’s one of my matrimonial duties to have sex with her, I don’t have a choice than to satisfy her. I cannot ignore her when she approaches me for it. However, addiction is a disease and I will help her by communicating to her that sexual addiction can ruin our lives. Talking to her is the best way to handle the situation. I’ll let her know she needs to focus her mind on how to develop herself intellectually instead of thinking about sex every time. If she’s unemployed, I’ll buy her literatures that will keep her busy and keep her mind off sex.

Too much sex can damage the brain - Segun Banjo

As pleasant as sex is, it is not food that should be consumed every day. Too much of everything is bad. I don’t like the idea of having sex every day as if our lives depend on it. There are other things in marriage that should engage one’s mind, not sex alone. I will let her understand my view on this issue and hopefully, she should agree with me. The bottom line is: sex is good, but too much of it can damage the brain.

I must satisfy her - Mark Ogudu

It is even better that she is the one demanding for it. Assuming I’m the one who keeps demanding for sex in such manner, she may think I’m promiscuous. She may also think I’m not considerate. But now that she is the one asking for it, I will satisfy her. If sex will make her not to look elsewhere and be fulfilled maritally, I must not disappoint her. She is my wife and so there’s nothing wrong with this issue.

I pray God should give her a job - Babarinsa Olusola

It’s only an unemployed woman that will like sex to the point of addiction. Extremity of anything is a disease and I will not allow that in my home. An average career woman in Lagos, who wakes up around 4am in order to beat the traffic, thinking of how to go about her job for the day, and coming home late in the night, will not have the time to think of sex every time. It’s not too good a lifestyle, but there must be balance in everything one does. I will pray that God should also provide my wife a job that will make her think less of sex.

I’ll give it to her - Williams Amosun

I know some men who complain of their wives’ addiction to their careers, thereby giving them little or no opportunity of having romantic moments together. I don’t want such a woman. I would rather prefer a wife who demands sex often from me to the one who I have to beg before we can have sex. So if my wife always wants sex, I must be ready to give it to her. In fact, I will be glad. Moments with one’s wife in bed are to be desired by every man.

Women cheat when there’s no sex - Abiori Marie

I can’t cheat on my husband, but many women cheat when their husbands don’t give them sex. There are some men that have money – they have virtually everything they want in the home, except romance. That’s when you hear of such women sleeping with their houseboys or drivers, which is quite a familiar experience. This shows they want sex, not just money and power. I want a balanced lifestyle, which includes a good sex life.

It’s good to please my husband - Akanbi Yetunde

No chance should be given for my husband to be tempted by other women outside there. One thing is, if I begin cautioning him and not making myself available for him, he may start to look elsewhere. Meanwhile, there are so many ladies that can be described as roaring lions looking for men to devour. If I restrain myself, they could jump at him. They would give him gladly and I will be the one to suffer in the long run. Hence, I will not hesitate to have sex with my husband anytime he wants. For Christ’s sake, he’s my husband!

Sex alone doesn’t keep a home - Adebola Rachael

To me, a man who views me like a friend rather than as a sex companion is a great man. Such is the type of man that can keep a home better. Contrary to the popular belief that sex is the ultimate in marriage, companionship is. If sex were, cases of divorce among couples would be minimal. Experiences of many women have shown that there are other things they want in their lives apart from sex. Personally, I want love, happiness and friendship from my husband.

There should be time for everything - Sarah Alabi

For everything, one must have a schedule. There should be a timetable for sex in the home to avoid addiction. Addiction is not a good thing. As much as sex is a good experience, it shouldn’t take a toll on other aspects of the home. There are moments couples should spend together discussing their plans and the future, not having sex. When we think of sex and engage in it every time, it will lead to failure in other areas of our lives.

I want a friend, not a sex companion - Ojo Oluwafunmilayo

Some men would think sex is so much important than any other thing in marriage, but it is a fallacy. Sex, in itself, does not give fulfillment. Of course, it is one of the forces that bind couples together, but that doesn’t mean we should not be disciplined. Friendship is what I desire from my husband. It pleases me more than sex.

So, you've read what these people have to say about this issue. What is yours? What will you do if your spouse is addicted to sex? Let us know by commenting below and Share this post with your friends. 

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